counting down...

As we are counting down the day to welcome our new family member, A and I finally kinda got into our parents-to-be mode.

We spent a weekend assembling the crib and did some research at babiesrus. The more we spend time preparing, the more I believe that A would be a wonderful dad. So the crib was more complicated than we expected. A spent both saturday and sunday working on it. This time he was more careful in the process than any other furnitures he's built. After each step, he would make sure many times the part was attached firm enough. As we finally finished this weekend project and were ready to move it to the bedroom, we realized that the crib is too big to go through the bedroom door!!!!We tried so many different angles and took some small parts but still couldn't get the crib to the room. So A had to dissemble most of the part and start over! Usually he would be too frustrated and decided to ignore it for a while, but this time, without a word, he patiently carried all the parts to the bedroom and reassemble them. Somehow I was in tears when seeing this. I really saw the love he put in building the crib. So I hugged him from the back and said thank you.

As I am in my final weeks, A and I would go take a walk after dinner to help the process of labor (as the doctor and experienced moms suggested). The other day when we were walking, a dad with a little boy came talk to us. The dad said he told his son that last time he came to this park, he also saw me and A walking. He told the son that there's a baby in my belly and he (the son) was in his mom's belly few years ago too. The son asked his dad how he got into the mom's belly and this question really got his dad, hahaha...

The boy is very cute and friendly and it seemed that he had some bike accident because his left hand was covered by a plaster cast. Then the dad told us a tragic but touching story. The boy was born with cerebral palsy and has been in therapy since he was born because of the negligence of the hospital. When his mom was in labor, his head was stuck and couldn't go out. The mom was too painful and kept bleeding, so she asked a c-section. However, the baby was in the crowning stage, so the doctor thought the baby could still come out. They tried vacuuming and others but still could't work. After 4.5 hours of pushing (the instructor at our childbirth class told us that pushing is between 30 mins to 3 hrs max, so 4.5 hrs is waaay too long for both mom and bay), the doctor decided to do c-section. But then because the wife was bleeding too much when the doc finally decided, the mom was very sick already. The dad faced the most difficult question in his life "if we can only save one, do you want to save your wife or your husband?" He told us that he almost fainted when being asked.He came to the hospital to welcome the new born, how did this even happen especially when all the doctor visits showed they would have a normal baby!!!???? Thank God that both mom and baby survived after the surgery, but because they didnt do c-section timely, the baby didn't have enough oxygen when in the crowning stage so he was born with cerebral palsy. I was surprised, I told the dad, your child looks like a very normal kid to me except for the wound that I think is from a bike accident. But the dad told us that his son is 2 years behind all the development and he couldn't walk until he was 4. Also, the insurance company denied his son, so they have to live with the huge medical expense for the rest of their life. However, the dad didn't tell us the story to complain, instead, he told us because he doesn't wanna see another mistake/negligence by the hospital. He felt that he is responsible for this because he should have insisted on c-section when his wife first asked. But being a first-time dad, he trusted the doctor. He was telling A that if he senses anything wrong, he should make a decision right away.

What I admire more about this dad and son is their thankful attitude. The dad kept telling us that he's really thankful that God saved both of his beloved. Even though his son is not as normal as other kids, but he is definitely a happy child, which is more important than anything else for the dad. As we were saying goodbye, the son asked me, "how about this, you come here next time, and I'll introduce you to my mom." (His mom was in class on that day). I smiled and said "sure, I would love to meet your brave mom!"

As we were on the way home, we both expressed how touched we were by this family and how much we were impressed by the husband and the wife to go through this. We also pray to God nothing but the health of the baby.

The ordeal I've been through

Never did I think carrying a baby would be this difficult until I myself went through all the ordeals in the past two months.

Since I was 5 weeks, I've been suffering from hyperemesis (severe morning sickness that prevents me from keeping down food). I was under a lot of pressure that the baby won't have enough nutrient because I was not eating at all. I had my ups and downs, during my downs, I wasn't able to take anything, including water, and would start throwing up bloods and acids cuz my stomach was empty. During my ups, lunch was the only meal that I could keep so I usually had in-n-out cheese burger for some weird craving reason (to be honest, I am never a fan of in-n-out, but A is).

Everyone told me once I move on to my second trimester, I will be much better. Hoping that one day I can start eating normally (including my favorite pop corn chicken), I counted down every day for my second trimester to come.

Three weeks ago, during one of my frequent prenatal check-up (because of hyperemesis, I see my doc every 2 weeks), I told doc that I had a mild abdominal pain. Doc said it might be because of my frequent throwing up, so she suggested me to take prevacids, tums, maalox etc for stomach acid. The following 3 days was probably the worst weekend ever, the pain became severe that I could not stand or walk. What's amazing is that I had my engagement shoot scheduled on Sat, so I endured the pain to finish the shoot. The moment the photographer left, I started throwing up like crazy in A's car. Now that I think of that day, I don't even know how I managed to sustain myself while having tremendous pain.

Since none of the drugs the doc suggested worked, A decided to send me to urgent care at my doc's office. I was transferred to the ER at the hospital right away cuz I was dehydrated and they need other specialists to diagnose my abdominal pain. That was a very long day. Because of the pregnancy, the techniques they could use are limited, first they tried ultrasound, but couldn't figure out the reason, then they decided to try MRI since CT scan had a lot of radiation that may harm the baby. I went to the doc at 9am in the morning, by the time I finished my MRI, it's almost 4pm.

Then a surgeon came talk to me 30 min later, he said they suspected it's appendicitis, but they were not sure because MRI is less accurate than CT scan which they can't use on me. He still decided to operate because if it's acute appendicitis, both the baby and I would be very dangerous if not treated right away. The surgery was scheduled at 6pm, I really felt like I was chasing after time.

Although I haven't had any water/food since 9am (they didn't allow me to take any cuz I might need a surgery, while waiting in the operation room, I still started throwing up. Whenever I threw up, the pain worsened.

I am not sure how long the surgery lasted, the moment I woke up, I was sent back to the regular room already. I heard A's voice, the doc's voice and also the baby's heartbeat (they were checking if the baby was doing ok after the surgery). I heard A said to the doc happily "the heartbeat is still very fast." I was so relieved. A told me the surgery was successful and it was really the appendicitis that caused all my pain. Doc was glad that we went to the hospital in time, because if I came a day late, the appendix would burst and they wouldn't be able to save the baby cuz I would be in a very critical condition. I read their medical report later, there's already some rupture, I guess I was very lucky.

I stayed in the hospital for 4 days. The first 3 days were unbearable. Since I am pregnant, they couldn't give me pain medicine as often as they give to other patients. I constantly felt the pain and couldn't do anything about it. Also, I couldn't pee, so they inserted a catheter into my body (very very awkward feeling). To help my recovery, the nurse came get me up 3 times a day to walk in the hall. I could barely walk, so it took me forever to reach their goal. What's worse is that because I have hyperemesis, if I throw up, the wound would hurt even more, so they still didn't allow me to drink/eat anything. I was IV injected for 4 days.

I was released on the fourth day, was that the end? No, fri I was back to the ER because of the complication after the surgery and finally went back home on sat. It's been 2 weeks, and I am slowly recovering. Now I still throw up many times a day, but at least, I can stay home, not in the hospital. And thank God that the baby and I are both ok.

Btw, the other days I was googling pregnancy and appendicitis, I found two women with similar experiences. One was in her 20 weeks when she had the surgery, she lost the baby, and the other one was in her 31 weeks, they had to do a c-section to take the baby out and the baby stayed in the hospital for 2 months. I guess God really blessed my family and I deeply appreciate.

Sometimes I get frustrated at my tough pregnancy, but after all the ordeals (or maybe more later), I came to realize that God chose this less taken pregnancy road for me to teach me to how to be strong for the ones I love.