Thursday, September 30, 2010

More than anything

Everyday when I feed ashley breakfast at 9am, i would hear this song from a taiwanese channel, it is just so soothing when i am very frustrated.

After my mom left 2 weeks ago, I have been on my own. Although A does help, he comes home late and sometimes he has to work. So I am with ashley 24/7. of course i like to play with her, take tons of her photos, see her smile, but sometimes her non-stop crying really gets to me and i feel that i can't breathe. i also feel that cuz i am with her 24/7, i can't do things i really like or need to do and this really frustrates me. so yesterday she pooped on the sofa and my pants when i was feeding her. i needed to clean the sofa and my pants first, so i put her aside, she was so angry and started screaming cuz she's still hungry. what's worse is that i didnt have time to burp her yet, so she spit up all my milk! somehow i just couldnt take it so i yelled at her "how come you are this impatient! then i started crying. i was trying my best to clean all the mess and my daughter was so inconsiderate! i had to ask A to come home early cuz i couldn't take this anymore. long story short, i thought i had postpartum depression so i googled the signs for depression. i found that 2-6 months are critical for baby's cognitive skills and if mommy is blue, it will affect the baby's development. i was worried that yesterday's incident may affect ashley cuz when i was crying, she kept staring at me quietly. she looked so innocent. so i made up my mind, i may not be a perfect mom, i have my weakness, but when i am with ashley i need to smile at her no matter what. God loves us more than anything, i need to learn this godly love when I raise ashley.

More than anything

God loves people more than anything
God loves people more than anything
More than anything He wants them to know
He'd rather die than let them go
Cause God loves people more than anything

God love the weary when they're too weak to try
He feels their pain, He knows their shame
He cries with those who cry
He won't give up or walk away
When other people do
Cause God loves people more than anything

*Repeat Chorus*

God loves the wounded who stumbled into sin
He reaches down and pulls them out
And cleans them up again
And He will heal the broken heart
Who's given up on love
Cause God loves people more than anything

*Repeat Chorus*

More than anything
He wants us to go
And show the world
So they will know
That God loves people
More than anything

1 comment:

  1. Things will get better, Silvie. These first months are super super tough. God uses times like this to build us up to be strong women that our children can grow up to admire and learn from. I'm with you on that one. -- wendy

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