A home to go back

It's been a month since I left Davis, so it's also been a month that A and I live together as a married couple.

I am actually writing this in Davis now because I came back yesterday for school stuff. I had a great time with friends as always, they are probably what I miss most about Davis. I don't really care about what we do, where we eat, but as long as people get together, there is always laughters. People asked me, "how's life in the bay?" I said, " life is ok, i don't have many friends so my life is kinda quiet especially now I am trying to finish my dissertation." Then they asked, "how's it going with A?" I replied, " we are generally very happy, but we argue more these days. There's always something about this person that you don't know until you live together."

So I started to think of what I said, do we really argue more? Yeah, we disagree with each other over certain personal habits, manners, ideas etc. since we grew up in different backgrounds. But are they really arguments? Or we are communicating in our own ways? For example, I have to confess that I love using "silence treatment" while A always wants to talk about it. When we were in long distance, we communicated with each other on the phone, which made it harder for me to use my silence treatment because it's just weird to have silence on the phone and also we just wanted to cherish the time we talked so we rarely argued on the phone. Now that we live together, A pinpointed to me that I like to use my silence treatment, which I am not very aware of. I guess it's good that he told me about it and that we talked it out. And I really appreciate that A always encourages me to talk about my true feelings instead of hiding them and piling them up.

Another big adjustment living with someone is dividing house chores. Overall I think A and I have been doing a great job (the reason being he's doing much more than I do, haha) So far I am in charge of getting grocery, cooking and sometimes folding clothes while A takes care of dishes, laundry, trash, and overall cleaning. Though I get tired of cooking everyday, but I have to say that I really enjoy cooking for A. He always appreciates and enjoys everything I cook. Everything looks so yummy when A is eating! Every time he finishes dinner, I always feel a sense of achievement.

Having been here in the US for 7 years, this is the first time I feel "home" and the first time I feel that I always have a home to go back. So now I am gonna finish this post and drive back home where my beloved one is.

Magic Realism's Mirror Image

"It was inevitable: the scent of bitter almonds always reminded him of the fate of unrequited love." is not what you would expect from a book listed on Oprah's book club. As one turns the pages of Love in the Time of Cholera, one can only be reminded that this book is on the list and the famous author, best known for the classic, One Hundred Years of Solitude, does not fret over this promotion by Oprah. Not that we have anything against Oprah's choices, but many classic authors of a certain caliber tend to shy away from her.

But Gabriel Garcia Marquez does not shy away from publicity. His style known as magic realism has been debated, analyzed, argued, and considered as controversial as innovative, hence the Nobel Prize award. His book Love in the Time of Cholera could hold sway in such a prize as well.

The language is simply beautiful, eloquent, and casts one in another time, place, and tastes like a ripe fruit plucked from the heart of South America. However, it falls short in the measure of a "great" book. Who am I to say what is great or not? Tis true, yet the book really does fall short. It has such a great introduction and it seems to lead you to that path. However, by page 50 you find yourself lost in the trance of love, but missing the better half, depth. What is love so free with no depth? That is Love in the Time of Cholera. Beautiful to read, but it does not move like a Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens.

The answer is that Marquez is so involved with his magic realism that one does not find an inch of tragedy, even when we are faced with the death of the starting character, Dr. Urbino. One does not feel an inkling for him, which I find amazing.

So what's the theory? Well, the movie Adaptation discusses this theme and the core problem with writing a story. Novice writers tend to write themselves into the story. It is hard not to, one feels so strongly for oneself. What not? Many great authors do write a facet of themselves into the story. However, I tend to believe Marquez wrote himself completely into the story and that this is the core of magic realism. One projects themselves in the background of a mirror, soon, we can't make head or tails of which one is real.